Continuing On
by beetroot-of-doubt
Summary: It was a week after the closing of the Exalted Council and the Inquisitor and her entourage were preparing to return to Skyhold. Even though many details were still to be resolved, the future of the Inquisition had been decided upon. However, coming to terms with the aftermath may be harder for Inquisitor Lavellan.
1. Chapter 1

_Note: This story is set after the main events of the Trespasser DLC. Spoilers ahead._

Chapter 1

It was a week after the closing of the Exalted Council and the Inquisitor and her entourage were preparing to return to Skyhold. Even though many details were still to be resolved, the future of the Inquisition had been decided upon; it would remain as a peace keeping force and a personal honour guard to Divine Victoria.

Although Cullen had known the Exalted Council would result in a change to the Inquisition, he never thought it would have such an impact on his new wife. She had mostly managed to hold it together in public at least, since returning from the 'Crossroads', the place beyond the Eluvian. But in the privacy of their room in the Winter Palace and once or twice during meetings with her advisors her calm demeanour had slipped, exposing the hurt and the worry she was feeling inside.

Early on the morning of leaving the Winter Palace, Cullen lay awake in bed, loathe to wake his sleeping wife. She had been sleeping so poorly, plagued by pain and nightmares, that periods of undisturbed sleep had become a luxury. As he watched her sleeping he saw a frown wrinkle her forehead and heard a soft whimper escape her lips. Pulling her close with one arm, he delicately traced the flowing lines of Vallaslin with a finger, a way he'd discovered to gently rouse her from a nightmare. After a few moments, Inquisitor Nherrin Lavellan sleepily opened her eyes.

"Another nightmare, love?" Cullen asked, his lips brushing her forehead. She did not reply but instead buried her face in his neck and in silence they held each other. After a few minutes Nherrin pulled away and sat up, her right hand absent-mindedly fiddling with the simple wedding ring held on a chain around her neck.

"You've not been watching me all night, have you? You need sleep too. I'm sure the pain will ease eventually." She flashed him a small smile before wincing and rubbing her left arm, well, what remained of it. "As for the nightmares, I know you still have them as well."

"I am only doing what you did for me when I was in the worst of the lyrium withdrawal. Here," Cullen sat up and moved a hand towards her stump. "Let me…"

Nherrin flinched away from his hand. "No, Cullen. I don't want you to touch it. Please…"

"Alright, I won't." He sighed and instead brushed her hair back, exposing bare shoulder and placing light kisses upon it. He had seen soldiers lose limbs before and how many took months or years to come to terms with a part of them that wasn't there anymore. Some never fully accepted it.

* * *

Her marked hand had been her preferred one, a fact clearly evident when she absentmindedly reached out to pick up a cup, or brush her hair back behind her pointed ears. The distress visible in her expression when she realised hurt him to see. But she refused to be mollycoddled, even once lashing out and shouting at a serving elf. The girl had only held out a chair for her to sit during the first meeting with her advisors since her injury. "In case the Inquisitor does not feel strong enough to stand." The girl had mumbled reverently which had fanned the Inquisitor's flames of frustration into a flamethrower of anger. Not long after, the girl fled the room.

"A little much, perhaps?" Josephine had said, wincing at the scowl that was briefly directed at her before melting away into a tired expression. Nherrin pinched the bridge of her nose.

"I'm sorry Josephine. I shall have to apologise to that poor girl." The Inquisitor gestured towards the offending piece of furniture with her pointed chin. "I'm still the Inquisitor. I don't need to be treated as if I'm made of glass."

The briefest of concerned glances between the three advisors told Cullen that they had noticed the Inquisitor's struggle as well. Her body trembled ever so slightly and she leant heavily on the table for support throughout their discussions. All four of them knew a handful of days was not enough time to really begin recovering from the trauma of an amputation but Nherrin's advisors respected her determination and nothing beyond Council business was said.

His wife was absurdly stubborn. As they left the room set aside for the Inquisition's council she had gently refused his offered arm, insisting that she was in perfect health, before striding off. Cullen followed dutifully behind as they made their way back to their quarters. The pair had not even gone half way before she began to crumple before him. Cullen deftly caught her before she collapsed entirely and scooped up her shaking legs to carry her. Thankfully for Nherrin's pride they were in one of the quieter areas of the palace.

His chin rested against on top of her head as her arms snaked around his neck. "You don't need to prove your strength for me." He said in a low voice. "No one should blame you for valuing your health or taking the time you need to recover. The Inquisition isn't going anywhere now." Nherrin sighed, fingers playing with the short hair on the back of his neck.

"Even if the Inquisition is safe our independence has gone. Treating me like an invalid only reminds me that I've lost my own independence as well." Cullen frowned and continued in silence to their quarters.

Once they were inside he set her down gently on the bed. Then he returned to the door to close it and shut out the world, leaving them alone. "What do you mean, lost your independence?" He asked, coming to sit beside her.

"Well, my adventuring days are over for one, but I need help to ready myself in a morning. I can't even go for a simple walk in the gardens without feeling eyes upon me, watching in case I keel over at any moment." He put an arm around her and pulled her close. A smile tugged at the corner of his lips as she nuzzled against his neck.

"I'm sure it will get better with time as everyone gets used to the situation." His fingers softly stroked her side. "Right now, we're all worried about you. What you've been through is not a small thing."

* * *

"I can still feel my hand, even though when I look down it's not there anymore…I can even feel the mark from time to time, especially in my dreams. If you touch the end of my arm... it's not right that it's not my hand..." She leaned against him and closed her eyes, careful to hold her left arm out of the way. "Still, we're heading home today."

"Good. I'll be glad to get away from this place."

"Half of the women of the Court are still fawning over you, you know."

"Hang the women of the Court, I married the only woman I will ever want." He swept her back down onto the bed, one leg easing between hers and captured her lips with his. The kiss was slow and sensual and when they separated, Cullen propped himself up on his arms and simply looked at her. Her flame red hair fanning about her head on the pillow, her bright green eyes gazing lovingly at him.

"Maker's breath, you are beautiful. My wife." He whispered. Nherrin's cheeks began to flush under his scrutiny and she giggled. "I'm still getting used to saying that."

"But I will never get tired of hearing it, husband."

Cullen leant in for another kiss, making a small sound of delight as his wife's hand started to move from its resting place at his waist, gliding over the skin at his hip and further down. But all the fun was spoilt by an insistent knocking at the door to their room.

"My Lady Inquisitor? Her Holiness, Divine Victoria requests your presence as soon as it is convenient. The Commander as well."

Letting out a deep sigh, Nherrin called out her response. "Please inform Her Holiness that we shall join her directly." She sat up as Cullen rolled off of her and threw back the covers. "It seems that our time together once again must take a backseat to duty. You would have thought with everything that has happened in the last few years we would have earned a few mornings in bed, undisturbed."

Standing, she was silhouetted by the morning sunlight. Although her body was slender like all Elves, the lines of her smooth curves and lightly defined muscles were visible, evidence of years of using her staff in battle. He had memorised all of her scars, when they had been gained and what they felt like under his fingertips. Cullen didn't know if he would ever fail to be fascinated by her. The Maker had certainly brought her into his life, it didn't matter that it wasn't Andraste who guided her from the Fade at the Temple of Sacred Ashes. He had known of the seeds of his affection since the attack on Haven, and those had blossomed during their time at Skyhold into a deep love that was inescapable, even if he wished it so.

She had sacrificed so much, for all of Thedas, despite never asking for the responsibility thrust upon her. She had shouldered it with little complaint, seeking to help all of those around her and it pained him that through a cruel twist of fate her hand and most of her forearm was the price she had had to pay. Still, it was far better than the alternative of her death. He didn't know what he would have done. With everything that he'd been through since the fall of the Fereldan Circle he might have just given up on life.

Cullen's breath hitched as he contemplated a different scenario, where he was alone and in mourning. Even the mere thought caused the pit of his stomach to open into a chasm and his eyes to well up.

* * *

Cullen and Josephine had been arguing. Emotions running high after discovering the Qunari spy had been one of the Inquisition's own. They may have continued, or perhaps the Inquisitor would have halted their words, bringing them back to focus on the important matter at hand. That is, if she hadn't cried out in pain. Her mark glowed bright and fierce, crackling with its strange magic.

Even as the light seemed to subside, Cullen could see the hard set of her jaw as she gritted her teeth, wincing as she straightened up. Did the mark look larger now? He had kissed the deep gash in Nherrin's palm so often, felt its roughness as she moved her hands across his bare skin, but he never remembered it reaching as far as her wrist before now.

"So," She sighed, having to steel herself in order to keep speaking. "It's been getting worse. I don't know why. I don't know how to stop it." She'd avoided meeting his eyes, focusing on Josephine and the Divine instead, and Cullen felt like the bottom was slowly falling out of his world. "I don't know how much time I've got left. What I do know is that the Qunari need to be stopped, so I need to get to the Davaarad," Nherrin briefly paused, her green eyes finally looking at him, "while I can still fight."

His chest felt tight, a lump beginning to form in his throat as he stepped forward and drew his love into his arms. He could feel her arms wrap around him, hands gripping the fabric of his dress uniform and her cheek press against his chest. Without his armour, he could feel the warmth of her body radiating against him.

"Thank you, Inquisitor." The Divine dipped her head as Cullen reluctantly pulled away, but not before placing a brief kiss to the top of her head.

"Would you…would you like us to inform the Exalted Council of the danger?" Josephine said hesitantly.

"Yes. If we fail, the Exalted Council needs to know what happened."

Other words were spoken but Cullen did not heed them. They had spoken about a possibility such as this many times, especially before Corypheus had been defeated. Every time Nherrin had left Skyhold for some far-off corner of Orlais or Fereldan, they had known that this could be the time when she didn't return. The worry of her absence combined with the sometimes nearly crippling lyrium withdrawal often took him to Skyhold's tiny Chantry late at night. He always prayed for her safety, for Andraste and the Maker to guide her home to him. Often he prayed for the strength to endure, to not succumb to temptation, to give his all to the Inquisition and his Inquisitor.

The times they had been into battle together he had marvelled at her skill. Spinning her staff about herself as she bent the very fabric of reality to her will and moving with a fluid grace that could not simply be the result of her Ehlven heritage. Her companions fought alongside her, working together in a beautiful harmony of death whilst he led his soldiers from the front. He ensured the enemy focused their attention on the Inquisition's forces so the Inquisitor could strike where she was needed. It had earned him more scars but more importantly they had achieved victory.

Composing himself, Cullen barely managed to keep the hitch out of his voice. "I'll have guards ready at the Eluvian in case the Qunari attack the palace." The look she gave him then, full of love and sadness made his heart ache. He yearned to go with her and fight by her side, to bring her home if the worst happened, but duty kept him here to defend the Winter Palace in case she did not succeed.

"Maker watch over you."

 _Note: I hope you've enjoyed Chapter 1. It has been a long time since I wrote a fanfic, so please consider reviewing as constructive comments are much appreciated._


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Deciding that the Exalted Council should be notified after the Inquisitor's departure, preparations were hurriedly made. Her inner circle were aware that something was wrong, even though for most there had been the best part of two years of separation. The time they had spent together and events they had struggled through to defeat Corypheus had created bonds too strong to be broken by a little space and the lack of impending doom.

Having gathered them all in the temporary War Room, Nherrin briefed her friends, with one notable absence.

"The Davaarad must be stopped. She cannot be allowed to invade Orlais and jeopardise the peace that we all worked so hard bring about. And so, I need to travel into the Crossroads one last time." Her green eyes sparkled with emotion, hands clenched into fists at her sides. "I say one last time, because I don't know if I'll be returning." This caused a flutter of movement around the room.

"I don't know if you remember Inquisitor, but we didn't know if we would return from Alexius' time magic. But, here we are." Dorian reproached.

"Yeah Boss, we've been in lots of crappy situations before." The Iron Bull chipped in.

"Hello, doesn't anyone remember what a desperate shit-show Haven was?" Varric chuckled, earning a solemn nod from Cole and kick-starting a fountain of comments from all sides. All of her companions were determined to prove her wrong with their own particular anecdotes.

"My friends!" Nherrin shouted, cutting thorough the chatter. She did not often raise her voice.

"I do not say such things to be pessimistic. We have beaten overwhelming odds, together, time and again." Her words were loud and strong and Cullen, positioned behind her right shoulder, felt a swell of pride hearing her speak. "But this time is different." She paused. Looking towards the floor, Nherrin cradled her marked hand against her chest.

"This time, I'm dying…" Her voice cracked and she paused again to compose herself. Cullen gently placed a hand on her shoulder. She glanced back at him gratefully before taking a breath to continue. "This threat needs to be stopped and I can only take a small team with me. The rest will be needed here in case…in case we don't succeed. I just wanted to tell you all how much I appreciate your friendship and loyalty, to myself and the Inquisition. And if my time has come, then I damn well won't leave Thedas on the brink of another war."

The Inquisitor straightened and looked all of her companions in the eye. "Thom, Dorian, Varric, get suited up. Everyone else, prepare yourselves. We don't have much time." And with that, they were all dismissed.

* * *

It didn't take long for the Inquisitor and her chosen team to reconvene at the Eluvian. Before departing, the Inquisitor and her Commander held each other, ignoring the presence of the guards and their friends.

"I know you wished me to hold onto this a long time ago." Cullen's words were quiet as he pulled a silver token from this pocket.

"Yes, so you would keep your luck."

"Now, I'm insisting you take it with you." Nherrin looked up, surprised. "I'm not willing to let you go yet. A little luck might be all it takes to bring you back to me." Slipping the coin into her hand, Cullen gently kissed his wife before letting her go. She smiled, tucking the coin into a small breast pocket in her armour.

"Come along you three! Sooner we kick the Davaarad's ass, the sooner we can go home." Placing a hand on Dorian and Thom's backs, she propelled them forward and through the portal, following herself a moment later. The only reason she didn't look back was to keep her husband from seeing the tears in her eyes.

Varric was the last to step up to the Eluvian. Just before he disappeared through, Cullen gripped his shoulder. "Make sure you bring her back." The Commander's face was pale.

"Don't worry on that score, Curly." The dwarf glanced back at the waiting portal. "We all love her too much to let anything happen to her." And with that, he stepped through, leaving Cullen to watch his back disappear.

"Maker, I hope you're right, Varric."

* * *

Cullen had been anxiously pacing in front of the Eluvian for what felt like an eternity. After the Inquisitor had stepped through the portal with her companions, Josephine had notified the Exalted Council of the potential threat. Acknowledging the warning, the Council went into recess whilst the Inquisitor was absent and dispersed throughout the Winter Palace to reduce the impact of a targeted attack.

He had occupied himself for a time organising the Inquisition's forces and co-ordinating with the Orlesian guard captains in preparations for a possible assault. He'd instructed Sera and the Iron Bull to stay near the delegation from Ferelden and Madam de Fer and Cassandra to remain near the Orlesian delegate. Cole, inconveniently, was nowhere to be found. But once the soldiers had their orders and had made their way into position, Cullen felt directionless. Back in Skyhold he would have had other matters to attend to; duty rosters, training schedules, reports to read and act upon, but here and now, when all evidence pointed to his love not returning, how in the Maker's name could he settle enough to read reports.

The guards posted around the Eluvian jumped slightly as Cole stepped out the shadows and crouched next to the portal's reflective surface. Although more young man than spirit anymore, he had retained his unnerving stealth.

"Pain. Hot, bright pain."

Cullen stumbled to a halt as the young man spoke. "Cole? Can you feel her?" He asked, urgency in his voice.

"She's sad and angry. Why did he leave? She thought she understood him. She must redeem her friend."

"Who? Who are you talking about?" Cole ignored him and continued speaking.

"It hurts. She knows she's going to die. Cullen…"

"No!" Cullen's voice was a harsh whisper, an emptiness forming in the pit of his stomach. It couldn't end like this.

The surface of the portal rippled, foretelling someone in transit. Hand moving to the sword at his side and fearing the worst, Cullen called out "At the ready men." They all readied their arms, prepared to face warriors of the Qun. Instead, what came though nearly broke his heart.

Thom Rainier stepped through the shimmering surface, lit by a vibrant, crackling, green light. His face was set in a deep frown of worry for the small figure he carried in his arms. A high pitched keening sound emitted from behind a curtain of flame red hair, like someone in intense pain who no longer had the energy to scream. After him strode Dorian, the Inquisitor's staff accompanying his own on his back. Purple light flickered in his hands as he drew power to try and stabilise his dear friend. Last through was Varric. He looked distraught. Already having lost Hawke at Adamant, he couldn't bear losing the Inquisitor as well.

"For the love of Andraste, fetch the surgeon!" Thom roared, and suddenly the whole room was a flurry of activity. One guard ran outside to inform the supporting personnel. Two guards hastily cleared the table and pulled it away from the wall, allowing the Inquisitor to be laid upon it. She seemed very small and fragile, curled in upon herself, tucking her marked hand against her chest as it crackled with a ferocity Cullen had never seen before.

Healers hurried in, having been waiting in a separate building nearby in case of such an emergency and busied themselves by examining their patient before being flapped at by Dorian.

"It's her mark." He snapped. "Magic and poultices won't do a damn thing. If we don't remove it right now, it will consume her."

"Where's that bloody surgeon!" Thom barked again, leaning out of the door to watch for her approach.

"Curly?" Cullen realised he'd not moved for several seconds, paralysed by the sight before him. He'd seen his share of injuries in his time but seeing her laying there like that. He felt sick.

"Hey, you should go to her." Varric's words brought him out of his stupor. "We moved as fast as we could. I hope it was good enough."

Stepping up to his wife, Cullen grasped her unmarked hand tightly and brushed her hair off of her face. Her eyes opened for a moment, glazed with fear and pain, before scrunching up tight again and squeezing his gloved hand hard. The mark flashed brighter and she made a sound like a wounded cat. Cullen could now see it extended almost half way to her elbow. "Maker have mercy." He muttered, feeling his cheeks becoming damp with tears.

"Well it's about time." Dorian's scathing tone made Cullen look up in time to see the surgeon hurry through the doorway with her bag.

"Maker preserve us!" She gasped, opening her bag and pulling out and assortment of wicked looking instruments. "You'll have to hold her down." She instructed the companions. "One to each shoulder and leg. There's no time for any pain relief. I can't work fast if she's moving about and if I don't work fast, she may go into shock and die."

Dorian's hands moved to the Inquisitor's left shoulder and upper arm. Varric took her left leg and Thom her right. Cole stepped forward to gently but firmly detach Cullen.

"I'll hold her arm. You hold her head. Speak to her. She wants to know you are here."

"Cullen…" Nherrin gasped. "Cullen, I'm scared."

Swallowing hard and moistening his lips, Cullen kissed his wife's forehead. "I'm here my love. I'm not going anywhere." He cradled her head in his hands as she weakly struggled against the men holding her down.

"She needs to bite on this." The surgeon thrust a thick strip of leather at him before tying the tourniquet tight about the Inquisitor's elbow. She had already cut through and removed the glove and sleeve. "Don't want her biting her tongue."

Nherrin let out an anguished whimper as Cullen pushed the strip of leather between her teeth. "I'm sorry, Your Worship, I'll be as fast as I can but this will not be pleasant for you." And taking a deep breath to steady her nerves, the surgeon set to work.

* * *

"…Cullen?" Nherrin called quietly.

"What?" He came back to the present with a jolt.

"I said I need your help." She gestured to the buttons on her tunic. She had mostly dressed herself whilst he had been wallowing in thought, but the Inquisitor still hadn't quite got the hang of doing up buttons with only one hand.

Cullen pulled back the covers, stood up and stretched, enjoying the way his wife's gaze ran hungrily over his bunching muscles and lack of clothing. Stepping towards him, Nherrin gently grasped his chin to pull him in for a chaste kiss before leaning her forehead against his.

"What were you thinking about?" She asked. Cullen's fingers began to do up the buttons, starting at the bottom and working his way upwards as he contemplated this answer.

"Just how lucky we have really been. How if anything had gone differently we could have lost you…I could have lost you." He held her bright green eyes as he finished doing up the last of the buttons, before turning away to begin dressing himself.

Nherrin didn't quite know how to respond, her hand drifting to play with the wedding ring hanging from her neck. The last few weeks had been hard on them all, but with all of the changes happening to her sometimes it was easy to become self-absorbed and forget how Cullen had been affected too. He was so good and so patient with her. He helped her stay strong and do what was needed for the good of Thedas and the Inquisition. Imagining how she would be feeling in his place…how she would cope with coming so close to losing him. Even the considering the idea briefly made her shudder.

She reached out, wrapping her arms around Cullen's now shirt covered chest and pressing her face against his back. "I love you, more than anything." She said quietly, the loose cotton of the shirt slightly muffling her words. "I don't know how I would manage without you. I promise, I'll never put you in that position again."

Cullen gave a soft laugh, pausing in pulling on his knee length dress boots. "Given our track record, that may be a difficult promise to keep, dear Inquisitor." He turned around and gathered his wife in his arms, placing a gentle kiss on the top of her head. "But I appreciate the sentiment all the same. Come on, we best not keep the Divine waiting too long." After quickly pulling on the rest of his attire and pausing briefly to tidy his unruly bed-head curls, they were ready to answer the Divine's summons.

 _Note:_ _Please consider reviewing if you have enjoyed the story so far._


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Upon leaving their room, the Inquisitor and her Commander followed an obliging servant to their audience with the Divine. They made their way, not to the large chamber where the Exalted Council had been presiding, but a smaller room tucked out of the way for more private affairs.

On the walk, Nherrin worried at the stitching pinning up her left sleeve. Cullen noticed the expression of anxiety and reached over to take her hand in his, giving it a slight squeeze of reassurance. They had both forgone the formal gloves this morning and the feel of her husband's calloused fingers enfolding her own gave Nherrin some comfort.

The door they came to was flanked by two of the Inquisition's soldiers. The servant they had followed opened the door, announced their arrival, then bowed and left. There were only two occupants of the room, the Divine and Josephine. Both ladies greeted the couple warmly and Josephine gestured to the side table which bore plates of fruit, small pastries and a pitcher of juice for breakfast.

After sampling some of the offered food, the Inquisitor remaining near the table to be able to eat from her plate, Divine Victoria was the first to business. Facing the couple, she clasped her hands behind her back and announced, "It has been decided Inquisitor. My first command for the leadership of my personal honour guard is to travel to South Reach and take a holiday." This statement earned momentary blank expressions from both husband and wife. Cullen seemed to recover first.

"But Your Holiness, there is so much to do. The organisation of reduction in troops will take weeks at best, not to mention communicating and housing all of those who serve across this side of the continent. There's also the reconstruction projects and…" He trailed off as Divine Victoria raised her hand for silence, a small smile playing on her lips.

"Cullen, do you trust your Captains?"

"Yes, of course." Cullen's brow furrowed, answering immediately. What was she going with this?

"Well then, if you trust them then you surely cannot be opposed to them managing the forces in your absence. Many have been posted far from Skyhold to work in your name with minimal direct oversight, yes?" She let her words hang in the air.

Josephine tried and failed to completely hide her smile behind a hand. Leliana had him. "Cassandra and I will remain in Skyhold for the transition and manage the day-to-day matters. The two of you deserve a honeymoon."

"B…But…" Cullen stammered, looking down at his wife for her support. Nherrin smiled warmly, she found him adorable when he was flustered. She raised her hand and rested her fingers against his lips, quietening him again.

"I think it is an excellent idea." She said. "Leliana is giving us a gift. Time for ourselves." She moved her hand from his lips to gently cup his cheek. "Before we left Skyhold, you did say it you would take me to meet your family one day."

"Well, Mia has been pestering me to visit for months." Cullen mused, absentmindedly rubbing the back of his neck. That was something else that Nherrin had always found endearing.

"At least sixteen months, by my count." The Divine interjected, prompting a long-suffering sigh from the Commander.

"You've been in Val Royeaux for nearly two years and you're still intercepting my letters?"

Josephine and Leliana shared a knowing smile but neither elaborated. It was almost like being back at the War Table, when weight of responsibility briefly lifted for moments of laughter. However, this quite often occurred at Cullen's expense.

* * *

In the early days of their blossoming relationship, any topic which was not strictly business would have the couple blushing furiously and hurriedly tripping over words to change the subject. It was something the two female advisers delighted in teasing them about when chance arose. The day after their first kiss on the battlements, all it took was a question about a certain report Cullen had been asking to see right away.

"I…I do not recall." Cullen muttered, focusing hard upon the marker piece he had been about to place.

"Something important must have distracted you instead, yes?" Leliana had asked, glancing between Josephine and the Inquisitor. The latter's ears had turned pink and she had lent forward over the map so as not to make eye contact.

"Perhaps your, conversation, with the Inquisitor yesterday quite drove it from your mind." Josephine couldn't quite disguise the smile in her voice. Cullen hurriedly put down the marker on a random position on the map. She knows. He thought. They both know! Of course they know, Skyhold is not full of spies for nothing.

To try and distract himself, Cullen reached forward to reposition one of the markers and his fingers met the Inquisitor's. She had just been reaching for the same piece. The pair glanced up, their eyes meeting and both immediately going red. Cullen straightened quickly, a hand going to the back of his neck.

Nherrin wanted the ground to open up and swallow her. She quickly pulled away, clearing her throat and fiddling with the hem of her tunic. "Is there any other business to attend to today?" She asked, wanting to flee the room as soon as possible.

"No, that is all from me." Josephine flipped the lid of her inkwell closed and began to move around the war table, heading for the doors.

"However, it looks like the Commander has one last item to discuss, do you not, Cullen?" Leliana mirrored her friend's movements and soon the large doors had closed behind them.

The pair looked at each other in silence, faces flushed.

"They know." Cullen said, his voice low.

"Yes."

"They know when happened on the battlements yesterday."

"Yes."

"…Do you mind?"

Nherrin moved around the War Table to perch beside Cullen. She didn't want an obstacle between them.

"Commander, our Spymaster is too good to not be aware of happens beneath her nose."

"Inquisitor, I do wish you would call me Cullen when we are alone together. And you haven't answered my question. Do you mind them knowing?"

"Cullen," she emphasised his name, the corners of her lips twitching upwards, and his heart gave a strange ker-thump. "If I'd minded others being aware of my feelings for you, I probably wouldn't have suggested a walk on the battlements." She grasped the fabric of his mantle and gently tugged him closer. He smelled slightly of peppermint, courtesy of the tea he favoured. When their noses were almost touching she whispered, "And please, when we are alone, call me Nherrin." Then she closed the remaining gap, pulling him in for a kiss and sliding her arms around his strong shoulders. In turn, he ran his gloved fingers through her unbound hair.

When they separated, Nherrin focused on playing with the mantle's fur. "You don't…" She tailed off.

"What is it?" Cullen's voice was soft. He let his hands settle on her waist.

"You don't mind, do you? I gather the gossip of the Inquisitor and her Commander is already circulating." She found it hard to meet his eyes, butterflies fluttering in her stomach. "Enough comments were made about Andraste's Herald being a Dalish mage, and this is bound to cause talk."

"I would rather my…our private affairs remain that way. But if there were nothing here for people to talk about, I would regret it more. Elves weren't treated differently in the circles I served, I didn't think what that might mean to you…I hope that doesn't, I mean, does it bother you?"

"No!" Nherrin startled them both with the force of her response. She could feel the heat rising again in her cheeks as she continued, albeit more restrained. "If you care for me, that's all that matters."

Cullen sighed. "I'm not very good at this, am I. If I seem unsure, it's because it's been a long time since I wanted anyone in my life." He rested his forehead against hers and closed his eyes. "I wasn't expecting to find that here…Or you…"

"Speak of gossip, I'll be surprised if Josephine isn't eagerly waiting for our reappearance. Can we spend some time together this evening? In your office…Just talking…I'll bring you some tea."

Cullen couldn't help be chuckle. They both managed to appear so calm and confident in leading the Inquisition in this war, but leave them alone with their feelings and he felt like he was a teenager again.

"I would like that." He smiled, his heart warming as she returned the smile with one of her own.

* * *

The Inquisitor was brought back to the moment in hand with a stabbing pain in her left arm. She gritted her teeth, pushing the pain to the back of her mind. It felt like a large needle was being forced through her wrist that was no longer there.

"So it is settled then, most of the Inquisiton forces we brought with us will return to Skyhold as planned and a small contingent remaining with Divine Victoria. The Inquisitor and Commander Cullen will travel on to South Reach, a squad accompanying them as far as the Crossroads by Redcliffe." Josephine finished her notes with a flourish of her pen and Nherrin realised she hadn't been paying full attention to the discussion. At least she was inclined to like the outcome.

"That sounds perfect, thank you Josephine. I should go and see if the horses and supplies have been prepared in the stables." The Inquisitor's smile was genuine, but weak with pain. "Perhaps you should find some supplies for that Mabari that has adopted you Cullen." Her husband was sighing in contemplation of the three weeks of travel ahead, but he brightened considerably at the mention of the dog. "Yes, we're going to keep him."

"I have the best wife." Cullen scooped his wife off her feet and spun her around, his face displaying a broad grin. Depositing her back on her feet, he strode out of the room, eager to get going and leave the Winter Palace long behind.

 _Note: I hope you have enjoyed Chapter 3, sorry this one is a little shorter and took some time to update._ _Please consider reviewing if you have enjoyed the story so far._


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